Ode to Major Bill - A Space Oddity

With the usual apologies to David Bowie - the real space oddity, we honor Major Bill "da man" Goss.

Ground control to Major Goss
Bill, how can you be lost?
Thirty years in the Force
And third go-round of course

Bill now an Air Force shill
Finally, you know the drill
Move to Lake Tahoe
Find your own ho

Once his own brewmaster
Never a disaster
Of beer, he can't get his fill
Work though - is a thrill

A pilot of skill
Now ready to kill
This time you're armed
Third time's a charm

Bad guys storm the door
Bill shoots them to the floor
You've really made the grade
Medals - photos in the trade

A sailor with no boat
Got anything that'll float?
Cal is calling - teach here
Bill says, "More beer"

So Bill, take your protein pills
Headgear, countdown, lift-off, thrills
May God's love be with you
Mary will wait - may have a new do

Floating round in your tin can
Circuits are firing, in kicks fan
Can you hear me Major Bill?
Can you hear me Major Bill?

And lastly, a few quotes from Caddyshack
For those quiet nights alone on the base...

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and don't know it.
You're a lot of woman, you know that?  Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?
I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell them you're Jewish, okay?
Oh Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman. Yeah, you're lean, mean, and I bet you're not too far between are ya.  How'd you like to wrap your spikes around my...
You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.
Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?
I smell varmint poontang.  And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think.

All the best Bill.

Drew's First Limerick

They say I'm beautiful but I'm boy
Not just eye candy or a live toy
I'm handsome in blue
Dashing as that Drew
Brees or Drew Bledsoe - not a bit coy.

So I thought: just what is in a number
It's confusing - looking at my thumbers
I've one penis
And two of these
Around the room he and big Jack lumber.

Yes, one head, two eyes, couple ears, no tail
Stuff's coming from my nose - snart like a snail
One mouth to feed
Is two boobs greed?
Dad got tattooed and is lookin' real pale.

Mom is the best breast-feeder I know
But when I ask for beer she says no
I should ask Aunt Megan
She's not draggin' babies
She's looking for one real man named Joe.

It's getting dark so off to bed I go
Dreaming of that deer Bambi and her doe
It is no fib
I hate my crib
And oh Dad, go to work and make more dough!

Love,
Drew

Drew Douglas

Is 8 weeks old this week - looking very good - Mom & Dad are taking great care of him - Mom's milk is obviously nourishing the boy and Pete thinks he's dreaming of OSU's first win of the 2009 football season coming this Saturday!

Our best to all!